So for halloween this year i went as wonder woman and snow white. sat night was halloween party at white rabbit then zouk after and sun was snow white at island! hahaha. i felt stupid dressed as snow white and serving costumers. i donno how the hell some customers actually thought i was an angel, alice from wonderland and cinderella. LIKE SERIOUSLYYYY?!? But uncle stan's the best, he said i'm a school teacher. HAHAHAHA!! i'm pretty happy with halloween this year, since i didnt get to celebrate it last year and this will probably be the last time i'm going to celebrate halloween in sg for awhile.
besides halloween, the other highlight of the week was ABOVE & BEYOND AT ZOUK!!! OMGGGGGG!! I WAS SOOOOOO GOOD! Hahaha. probably becos i was a little high, but just high enough to dance through the night, unlike our beloved kim tho who died and only happen to wake up for sun & moon and went back to lala land again! HAHAHAHAHA!! I think most of us were high/drunk before a&b even started spinning! but the music WAS SICK!! now i'm just anticipating for zouk out although the line up this year isnt as gd as last year's.
besides a&b and halloween, my life has been pretty much the same. the health conference last week totally killed me. 630am-7pm two days in a row was not fun at all. esp when u have to stand in heels for hours and hours!! i was home by 130 on friday night and fell aslp straight away. i cannot even remember when was the last time i came home that early on a friday night. my internship is really killing me. it's sucking all the energy outta me. plus, it's only gonna get worst! end of this month it's the annual sitex computer show at expo and the following week marks the start of my 2 months long a moving masterpiece exhibition all the way through to next year feb. sighhhh. sometimes i really ask myself why the hell am i doing events. but like i've said many times before, no matter how tired i am and how much i curse and swear, at the end of the day i still love what i do.
so today marks my 2nd month back in sg. cannot CANNOT believe i've only been back in sg for two months. i feel as if i've been back FOREVERRRRR~~ However this will also mean that i'm only left with 10 more months in sg. ): sigh, this sucks i'm getting comfortable in sg again. it's gonna suck when it's time to go back to aussie, i'm gonna cry like a dog again at the airport. )': but after next year when i'm back in aussie i'm determined to stay there all the way through my degree and maybe come back once a year? cos going there and coming back again and again is too emotionally torturing for me. i don wanna feel that way. ):
lately i've been feeling rather upset. i donno whether its becos i'm lonely. however i must say, i'm starting to get used to being single. i think in my last blog spot, i sounded soooo desperate. but honestly it sucks not having someone to be always there for u and knowing at the back of ur head someone is constantly caring about you and loving you. but like i said i don want to rush into anything and i don want to get into another meaningless r/s for all the wrong reasons. to be honest, i have nvr been more proud of myself. i really see myself growing up, becoming more and more sensible when it comes to certain issues. but nonetheless there's still alot of other issues i have to work on.
recently i starting to care less and less. i don really know how to describe it. but i'm starting to become more and more "i don give a shit" and it's not only on things that i just generally do not care about, but this time round it's ppl. i think i'm starting to build that protective wall around myself, i'm becoming less and less emotionally attached to ppl. which on my part i don think is something to celebrate about. kim was like "you don care about _ and you dont care about _ as well then who the hell do you actually care about?" don get me wrong i still do care alot about my close friends, they mean the world to me and if it wasnt for them i will nvr be able to make it through and i'll nvr be able to be where i am right now after my break up. but i'm talking about feelings wise. in the past i will get rather upset over certain ppl i care specially about, but recently i find myself having the "if you give a shit about me, i wont give a shit about you either" mentality. maybe becos i've been pushed away too many times, i'm starting to feel like no one in this world is worth it, no one in this world is worth me giving my everything to. i mean some will see this as a gd thing, protecting yourself from getting hurt. but as for me i think it just mean that i'm becoming more and more heartless, which i don want to be. i don want to be heartless, i don want to be that cold creature, that is not the person gabby is. i'm suppose to be all full of love and be surrounded with "love bubbles". sigh. what is happening to me? ):
i think as of now i'm just really lost. i'm a little lost sheep going around trying to find my way. i really hope this bimbo sheep will be able to find her way soon. if not, i really donno what the next few months is going to hold for me. i think i might just be confused right now since i have nvr been single for this long before, like i'm confused as to what to feel and what to do. this break up has really changed me quite a bit, in good ways and in bad. i just need to find my inner peace soon.