blusher

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

FUCK MY LIFE!! MY BB CRASHED THIS AFTERNOON. )': )': )': I feel so lost without my bb! hopefully i'll get it back tmr. if not i'm gonna kill myself. worst of all, i didnt back up my bb at all. i'm gonna lose all my contacts! including my aussie friends' contact. fml! so tempted to switch over to my iphone instead! praying that there's a spare phone at home. if not GG!

So i'm blogging away at sogurt. came here to visit nat. (: thank god it crashed today instead of tmr. cossss LYANNE CHUA IS COMING BACK TMRRRRRR!! WOOOHOOOOO~~ heehee. finally! havent met her since my b'day in melb! cant wait for her to be back tmr! sucks that i'll be dead busy from this weekend all the way through to next year feb. wont be able to spend much time with her. but i promised that i will squeeze every bit of time for her. (: really cant wait!

So my fs have been pretty happening the last few days. filled with questions regarding C. i wont deny that some of the question did affect me a little and got me thinking about us again. but i'm still trying to keep my inner peace and not let it affect me too much. And to the ppl who have been asking me how i feel about the fact that C is back with his ex, i'm going to answer this question once and for all. I wont deny that when i first found out i felt cheated, upset and angry, i was feeling so many emotions that i actually felt numb after awhile. but it's been more then 4 months since we broke up. i wont say that i'm totally over him, but i'm feeling much better now. In all fairness and putting my feelings aside, i feel happy for him and happy for them. becos they do belong together, after all these time they've always had a part of each other kept in their heart. they seem really happy together and he seems really happy, thus i am happy for them. no point getting angry and beating myself up for it. i am happy that both C and i are at a much better place now. when we were together, we really did have a lot of problems in our r/s and i constantly felt that he wasnt truly happy, so now the fact that he is, puts me at ease. so if any of C and S's friends are reading this, pls let them know that i am happy for them and i wish them all the happiness in the world. (:

i'm saying all of the things above from the bottom of my heart. like i have mentioned i think both C and i are at a much better place now. i am happy with my life and he seems happy too. i guess that's what's most important in life; being happy. i might not feel as bliss as before when i was still with him, but i feel like after a really long time i am in control of my own happiness, my happiness is no longer in someone else's hands, i think this is something to be grateful about.

Two days ago, D said to me, "been stupid once, cant afford to be stupid again, put ur guards up and guard your heart." i very much agree to that. recently i find myself having a problem of letting ppl into my life. i try to distant myself and not let myself get too attached to anybody and not allowing anyone to affect my life too much. i donno whether this is a gd thing or a bad thing. i don want what happened in my previous r/s to make me "heartless", not wanting to care for anybody and love anyone else. maybe it's not the time yet, maybe the wound is still too fresh. afterall, one and a half years has got to count for something right?

Although i'm no longer crying over C and i'm not extremely affected by news regarding him. but i can feel that the pain is still there and sometimes when i think about us it still hurts. don get me wrong i am more then ready to move on, just that sometimes i cant help myself to feel a certain way when i am reminded of him. i was reading the questions i've answered previously on my fs, someone told me time heals all wounds and it's true, it really does and i believe in time to come, he'll just be another heart break to me.

cant wait to get my tattoo next week! i swear tattoos are soooooo addictive. after this tattoo i'm just gonna get my "always bring your own sunshine" and i'm gonna put a stop to my tattoo obsession. life has been treating me pretty well recently, BESIDES the fact that my phone crashed today. really cant wait for BFF to be back tmr! i hope that despite the fact that i'm going to be dead busy for the next 3 months, we will finally be able to spend some quality BFF time together, cos for the first time, we're both single at the same time. (: cant wait! till next time. <3

Jolene's b'day bbq. (:

PPGs

HONGGGGGGGG!!! (Y)
barclays with mummy.
natty so prettehhhhhh!!

captain LOH!

no make up. i look like death. ):

LOVEEEEEEEEE this photo! (:

helipad with the lovessss. (: