Internship is draining the shit out of me. The events industry is really no joke. I knew it wasnt going to be an easy job, but i nvr knew it was going to be THIS demanding and this stressful. Although what i'm doing now is exactly what i want to do in the future. But it's making me think twice about my career in the future. i donno how long i will be able to work in this industry. don get me wrong, i still love events, just that i donno whether i'll be able to have this career as a long term career. To be in the events industry u really need to be 200% committed to ur job. You need to absolutely love what u're doing, the moment u start dreading it, u'll just wanna KILL YOURSELF!! But nonetheless, i'm still glad that i chose to do events becos end of the day, even today after my 7 hrs meeting, YES 7 HOURS! From 1030am to 530pm, i went back to my office and i continued doing my work without whining, finding myself still looking forward to tmr. everyday u're constantly working on something different, which is exactly why i chose this industry in the first place, so that day after day i wont be doing the exact some shit. maybe it's becos we're still under the planning stage that's why everything seems more dry now, maybe things will get better when all the operations are starting to take place.
Oh yea. my first exhibition will start on the 7th of dec all the way through to the 6th of feb. It's called "A Moving Masterpiece", pls do go read up on it at http://www.amovingmasterpiece.com/ and do show some support by purchasing the tickets. i know it's not something that ppl my age will be interested in buttttt i WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT if you guys could show some support, which will make my life alot easier if the ticket sales are good. Hahaha. In between i'll be helping out with events. My schedule is packed to the brim all the way through to next year feb. Cos of the moving masterpiece exhibition i can forget about x'mas, new years, new years eve and even CNY eve holidays. i guess this is what is expected out of u when u're in the events industry. not forgetting there's still quite a few exhibition and conferences lined up after feb. HAHAHA. MY LIFE IS GOING TO SUCK! but of cos i'm gabby, i'll always find time for partying. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
So i'm back at zouk after what seems like forever, have been keeping up with my regular zouk visits. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! But so far so gd, there's only been one week where i hit my 5 times a week quota, thanks to my crazy baby bro! if u guys think i'm hxc, u guys have definitely not met my baby bro MARCUS YAN!! last warning and hats off to him. he beats me hands down when it comes to partying. HAHAHAHAHA!!
So as i was saying earlier, i'm getting very tired of this single lifestyle. i really donno how ppl do it. i donno how can ppl stand being alone for yearsssss. like i said i'm pretty proud of myself that i've been keeping this up for 3 months. one of the reasons that's stopping me from wanting to be in a r/s is that eventually i'll be leaving sg. i don want to have to do that whole long d crap again. But yet at the same time, i miss being in a r/s, i miss the stability, i miss always having someone to be there for you, i miss doing special things with that person, i miss having someone to watch movies with, i even miss holding someone's hand. i was nvr someone who think that i'll be happier being single. Yes maybe there are plus points about being single, you have so much more time for ur friends, u can do whatever the hell u want, go wherever the hell u want, go out with whoever the hell you want. but i would give all these up for a r/s in a heartbeat. becos i absolutely absolutely hate the idea of not having someone there for me.
Initially i really thought it wasnt going to be so bad and initially it really wasnt that bad. but the longer i'm single the more i'm dying for something stable. yet i don wanna make anymore mistakes when it comes to r/s cos i'm so sick and tired of having to go through the same crap, feeling crappy after a break up, over and over again. i'm scared to open up to someone, i don want to be in that vulnerable state to let a person have absolute control over my emotions and i don want to to base my happiness solely on that one person. cos i've done that and in the end when the person left, u're left with nothing, absolutely nothing, except a whole load of crap to deal with. i'm not being desperate, just miss the stability. ):
Lately i'm starting to forget the what happiness is suppose to feel like. i think happiness is just as hard to define as love. that's why i guess love and happiness go hand in hand. can one only feel happy when they're in love? don get me wrong, my friends make me really happy, i'll absolutely die without them. but it's not the kind of happiness love gives you, you know what i'm saying? it's two totally different type of happiness. i remember how C used to make me feel really happy and that happiness came right from the bottom of my heart, it was a feeling i couldnt describe, it was just pure bliss and happiness. But nowadays i just see myself laughing here and there, being happy hanging around with my friends, constantly smiling, having nothing to worry about, but after awhile that happiness dies down. Can one only find happiness in love? i beg to defer. but somehow i find it true. Maybe that's why ppl say everyone needs some love once in awhile. And i guess to a certain extend, it's true when they say everyone just wants love & happiness. personally, i do believe that.
oh well, guess i'll just have to suck it up like how i always do and just pull through. i think i've been through so many things in life to know how to deal with all these crappy situations. when u're in this kinda situation, when things nvr seems to get better and u feel like u're going down this nvr ending black hole, all u can do is suck it up, suck it ALLLLLL up and pull through, i believe that things will eventually get better. like they say when things gets worst, it can only get better from then on. i truly believe that i'll come out of all these a stronger person and hopefully a wiser person as well. time for bed. 830-6, mondays to fridays. till next time. toodles! <3
my baby bro marcus yan! (:
cutie pie's b'day! ((:
famfam with the square mouth! (:
natty natty! ((:
babygirl
love my island family! ((:
long lost primary school friend. (:
love this pic! HAPPY B'DAY ZACH!! ((: